i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
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just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
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I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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