Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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