It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
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