woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
