i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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