i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
