I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Randomize
