I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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