In the future we'll all be gay
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
