I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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