I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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