They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
