Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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