i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
