So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
It's just like the Real World with babies
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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