my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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