So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
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I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
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While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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