You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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