I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So vagazzling was a success
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
