btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
