I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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