Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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