Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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