I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
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