So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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