fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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