Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
