I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
