Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
