so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
