So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
