so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
