oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
