i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I would ride that face into the sunset
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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