also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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