i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
