found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
