I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
