I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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