I want to have your abortion
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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