if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
