I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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