Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
