tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize