1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Randomize
