My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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