im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
