i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.