white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
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