it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
So much rum. So many feels.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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