She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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