Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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