im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
