Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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