My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
