Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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