It was confusing and full of hummus
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
