It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
