I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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