is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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