Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
