i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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