Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
